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Notes from Underground

  And, indeed, I will ask on my own account here, an idle question: which is better—cheap happiness or exalted sufferings? Well, which is better?---Fyodor Dostoevsky ---Notes from Underground Fyodor Dostoevsky ---Notes from Underground Even now, so many years later, all this is somehow a very evil memory. I have many evil memories now, but ... hadn’t I better end my “Notes” here? I believe I made a mistake in beginning to write them, anyway I have felt ashamed all the time I’ve been writing this story; so it’s hardly literature so much as a corrective punishment.  Why, to tell long stories, showing how I have spoiled my life through morally rotting in my corner, through lack of fitting environment, through divorce from real life, and rankling spite in my underground world, would certainly not be interesting; a novel needs a hero, and all the traits for an anti-hero are expressly gathered together here, and what matters most, it all produces an unpleasant impression, for we are...

Hope

To be human is to be a miracle of evolution conscious of its own miraculousness — a consciousness beautiful and bittersweet, for we have paid for it with a parallel awareness not only of our fundamental improbability but of our staggering fragility, of how physiologically precarious our survival is and how psychologically vulnerable our sanity. To make that awareness bearable, we have evolved a singular faculty that might just be the crowning miracle of our consciousness: hope.-- Erich Fromm


Lives destroyed by SSRI/SNRI and Benzos - WELCOME TO THE HELL ON EARTH

 



This is one of the worst cases , but still

DO NOT TAKE IT UNLESS YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE AND EVEN THEN THINK AGAIN



What is percentage of people that have extreme adverse effects of taking SSRI or benzos

When it comes to "extreme" adverse effects, the numbers depend heavily on how you define the term—whether you mean life-threatening emergencies, permanent changes, or side effects so "bothersome" they cause people to quit.

Here is the breakdown of the most severe risks for both classes based on clinical data.

1. SSRIs (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors)

SSRIs are generally considered safer in overdose than older antidepressants, but "extreme" effects can still occur, particularly regarding psychological states and long-term function.

Adverse EffectFrequency / PercentageNotes
"Extremely Bothersome"~10%In surveys, about 38% report side effects, but only 1/4 of those (~10% total) call them "extremely bothersome."
Suicidal Thoughts2% – 4%The risk primarily affects those under 25, roughly doubling the baseline risk (from 1% in placebo groups to 2%).
Serotonin Syndrome0.1% – 0.2%A life-threatening reaction; rare in monotherapy but higher if mixed with other drugs (up to 12% in some hospital units).
PSSD (Irreversible Sexual Dysfunction)~0.46% (1 in 216)A controversial but documented condition where sexual function doesn't return after stopping the drug.
Akathisia~2%A state of "inner motor restlessness" that can be extreme enough to cause suicidal ideation.

2. Benzodiazepines

The "extreme" effects here are usually related to long-term dependence, withdrawal, and the risk of fatal respiratory depression (especially when mixed with alcohol or opioids).

Adverse EffectFrequency / PercentageNotes
Severe Withdrawal~16% – 32%While 40–80% experience some withdrawal, about 40% of those report it as "moderate to severe."
Withdrawal Seizures<1%Usually occurring with abrupt cessation ("cold turkey") after high-dose or long-term use.
Suicidal Thoughts (Chronic Use)Up to 50%Some surveys of long-term users show high rates of suicidal ideation, likely due to "emotional blunting" or depression.
Overdose Involvement~30%Of all prescription drug overdose deaths, benzos are present in nearly 1/3 (though usually combined with opioids).
Protracted Dysfunction~10% – 15%Known as "Benzodiazepine-Induced Neurological Dysfunction" (BIND), where symptoms persist for years after quitting.

[!IMPORTANT] A Note on "Cold Turkey": Stopping benzodiazepines suddenly can be medically dangerous (seizures/death). If you are experiencing what you consider an "extreme" effect from either medication, do not stop abruptly without a doctor's guidance on a taper schedule.

How many people have permanent extreme disfunction/malfunction of the nervous system or other debilitating side effects once they stop SSRI/SNRI or benzos ?

Defining "Extreme"

  • The "Physical" Extreme: For SSRIs, this is Serotonin Syndrome (very rare). For Benzos, it is fatal respiratory failure or withdrawal seizures.

  • The "Quality of Life" Extreme: For SSRIs, it’s often PSSD or Anhedonia (emotional numbing). For Benzos, it’s permanent memory/cognitive issues or years-long withdrawal.

This is a deeply concerning topic for many, and the medical community has only recently begun to formally recognize the "permanent" nature of these effects. Because of this, there is a major gap between official clinical data (which tends to be conservative) and patient-reported data (which reflects higher numbers).

When you stop these medications, "permanent" or long-term dysfunction is usually grouped into three main categories:


1. SSRIs & SNRIs: Post-SSRI Sexual Dysfunction (PSSD)

This is one of the most well-documented "permanent" conditions. It involves a "numbing" of the nervous system’s sexual response that persists for years or even indefinitely after the last pill.

  • Prevalence: A large 2023 study published in The Annals of General Psychiatry estimated the risk at roughly 1 in 216 patients (0.46%).

  • The "Extreme" Factor: Patients report "genital anesthesia" (total loss of feeling), a lack of romantic/emotional connection ("anhedonia"), and a total loss of libido.

  • SNRI Difference: SNRIs like Venlafaxine (Effexor) and Duloxetine (Cymbalta) are often linked to more severe and "electric" withdrawal symptoms (like brain zaps) because they have shorter half-lives, making them harder for the nervous system to stabilize.


2. Benzodiazepines: BIND (Benzodiazepine-Induced Neurological Dysfunction)

This is a relatively new term used to describe the "brain injury" or lasting nervous system changes that occur in some long-term benzo users.

  • Prevalence: Researchers estimate that 10% to 15% of chronic users develop a "protracted withdrawal syndrome." However, a survey of 1,200 users published in PLOS ONE found that 76.6% of respondents reported symptoms (like memory loss or motor issues) lasting longer than one year.

  • The "Extreme" Factor: This includes "tinnitus" (permanent ear ringing), "paresthesia" (burning or tingling skin), and "cognitive slowing" that can mimic early-onset dementia.

  • Life Impact: In the same survey, nearly 47% of people with these symptoms reported they had lost their job or were unable to work due to the dysfunction.


3. Protracted Withdrawal Syndrome (PWS)

This refers to general nervous system instability—anxiety, "brain zaps," and extreme sensory sensitivity—that lasts far beyond the expected 2–4 week withdrawal window.

FeatureSSRI/SNRI Protracted WithdrawalBenzo Protracted Withdrawal
DurationMonths to 10+ years (Average ~3 years)Months to Indefinite
Severe Incidence~3% (Clinical) to 25%+ (Patient Surveys)~10-15% of chronic users
Key SymptomsAnhedonia, Akathisia (restlessness), Brain ZapsTinnitus, Muscle Spasms, Memory Loss
Nervous System Change5-HT1A receptor down-regulationGABA-A receptor downregulation/damage


The Reality of "Permanence"

Is it truly permanent?

  • Neuroplasticity: The brain is highly adaptive. Many people who feel "permanently" damaged at year 2 find they are significantly better by year 5.

  • documented Persistence: However, there are documented cases where receptor changes (specifically the 5-HT1A receptor for SSRIs) remained visible on brain scans 29 months after the drug was stopped.

  • Functionally Permanent: For a subset of the population, these effects are "functionally permanent," meaning they may not recover to 100% of their pre-medication baseline.


Jordan Peterson case




Benzodiazepine withdrawal is widely documented as an intense, challenging, and often lengthy process. Forums like BenzoBuddies serve as spaces where individuals share these difficult experiences, often to find community and validation when they feel misunderstood by the medical establishment.

The "horrifying" nature of these stories typically stems from the profound, unpredictable, and long-lasting impact that benzodiazepine cessation can have on the nervous system. When users on these forums describe their most difficult moments, they are usually referring to a set of severe, often persistent experiences that some experts and patient advocates now categorize as Benzodiazepine-Induced Neurological Dysfunction (BIND).

Common Themes in Severe Experiences

The stories that forum members often find the most distressing share several recurring themes:

  • "Chemical Terror" and Intense Psychological Distress: Many users describe a specific type of overwhelming, non-situational anxiety often called "chemical terror." Unlike normal anxiety, this is frequently described as a physiological, inescapable sense of doom or dread that feels disconnected from any external cause.

  • Protracted Withdrawal (BIND): One of the most frequently discussed "horrors" is the duration. While some acute symptoms subside after a few months, a subset of users report symptoms that persist for years. These can include cognitive deficits, memory loss, and a feeling of being "stuck" in a state of neurological injury long after the drug has left their system.

  • Sensory Overload and Neurological Symptoms: Users often report hypersensitivity to stimuli that were previously normal. This includes extreme sensitivity to light, sound, smell, and touch. Other severe physical manifestations include "electric shock" sensations (sometimes called "zaps"), intense muscle spasms, internal vibrations or tremors, and "POTS-like" symptoms (tachycardia and dizziness upon standing).

  • The Feeling of Being Disbelieved: Perhaps one of the most painful aspects frequently cited in these stories is the sense of isolation caused by the medical community. Many users describe going to multiple doctors or emergency rooms, only to be told their symptoms are psychosomatic, unrelated to the medication, or "just anxiety." This medical gaslighting often leaves patients feeling abandoned and hopeless.

  • Loss of Function: Severe stories often involve a complete inability to perform basic daily activities. Users may describe being bedbound for months, unable to drive, work, or care for their families, and experiencing a total loss of their previous personality or ability to feel joy.

Understanding the Context

It is important to view these anecdotes as personal, subjective experiences of a complex medical issue.

  • Anecdotal vs. Universal: While these stories are deeply real to those experiencing them, they represent a wide spectrum of outcomes. Forums like BenzoBuddies naturally attract a high concentration of people who are struggling, meaning the stories you read there often reflect the more severe end of the withdrawal spectrum, rather than the experience of every person who has ever taken these medications.

  • Medical Complexity: The severity of withdrawal is highly individual and depends on factors like dosage, duration of use, how the medication was stopped (e.g., cold turkey vs. tapering), and individual biology.


Profile of a Severe BenzoBuddies Narrative

  • The Onset & Tolerance: The journey typically begins years prior with a standard prescription (such as Clonazepam or Xanax) taken precisely as directed for a manageable issue like situational stress or insomnia. Over time, the body adapts, leading to tolerance withdrawal—where the medication stops working, and the user begins experiencing strange, unexplained physical and psychological symptoms between doses.

  • The Medical Maze: Believing they are physically ill, the individual spends months or years visiting a revolving door of specialists—cardiologists, gastroenterologists, neurologists, and endocrinologists. Extensive blood work and scans return normal results. Because doctors fail to recognize tolerance withdrawal, they often suggest the symptoms are proof of worsening anxiety, diagnosing generalized anxiety disorder or prescribing additional medications (like antidepressants or muscle relaxers) that further destabilize the nervous system.

  • The Acute Phase & Sensory Shock: When the person eventually attempts to taper off or stops taking the drug, they enter a severe acute phase. Members frequently describe this as entering a state of unremitting "chemical terror"—an overwhelming, non-situational dread entirely detached from any external thoughts. Physically, they report bizarre and intense sensations: internal tremors or vibrations, a feeling of "burning skin" (often described as acid flowing beneath the surface), severe insomnia stretching across multiple days, and extreme sensitivity to light, sound, and touch.

  • Isolation and the Finding of Community: During the worst months, many individuals become entirely housebound or bedbound, unable to work, drive, or care for themselves. Friends and family struggle to comprehend how a prescription pill could cause such total systemic collapse, leading to profound isolation. The turning point for many occurs when they stumble upon forums like BenzoBuddies and realize—for the first time—that thousands of others are reporting the exact same bizarre, physiological cluster of symptoms, proving they are not losing their minds.

  • Windows, Waves, and Healing: In protracted cases, recovery rarely happens in a straight line. Instead, users describe a grueling pattern of "windows and waves"—brief periods of clarity and relief ("windows") abruptly interrupted by sudden recurrences of symptoms ("waves"). Slowly, over the course of many months or even a few years, the waves become shorter and milder until the nervous system fully stabilizes and normal function returns.